Comparison is the thief of joy

Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

The greatest heroes are those who do their duty in the daily grind of domestic affairs whilst the world whirls as a maddening dreidel.

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

Somebody once said that the library is actually the dominant life form on the planet. Humans simply exist as the reproductive means to achieve more libraries.

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.

A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.

We suffer more from imagination than from reality.

It seems that perfection is attained not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing more to remove.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts

The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common... they don't change their views to fit the facts. They change the facts to fit their views.

Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.

Don't just do something, stand there

We choose to do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.

I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.

Folks want badly to believe in something bigger. Because the scariest god you can imagine don't care. It's as cold and indifferent as the blackest corner of space. A god of nothing. That's why somebody's always trying to take control. In a family. In an office. On a court or in a chapel. In a battlefield or a statehouse. Make order and meaning out of all that nothing. And there's no better way to get people to kneel and weep at your altar than punishment. Every would-be god is a punisher.

You only get one life, so why not live deliciously? I like to imagine the afterlife is a plump peach with a bite taken out of it. Heaven is a bottomless bath of wine. My bible is written in song and poetry. I worship with Bacchus, baby, at the pulpit of pleasure. If you dare to offer me misery, I'll give you a sword to the stomach in return. I would much prefer to thrust in ecstasy -- so join me there instead?

You are depressed if you live in the past. You are anxious if you live in the future. You are at peace if you live in the present.

There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen

We are House Atreides. There is no call we do not answer. There is no faith that we betray.

Perfect is the enemy of good

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

The Superman exists, and he's American